Uneven Awakening

Some mornings you feel clear; Others, you feel like wet soil.

I keep seeing the same thing in the comments lately. A lot of us feel like we’re in a strange kind of limbo. Not asleep exactly, but not fully moving either. Just… suspended.

And honestly, same.

We’ve talked before about how uncomfortable these in-between spaces are. The instinct is always to rush through them, fix them, optimize them, and make them productive. But historically, both psychology and folk practice treat these periods differently. They’re thresholds. The nervous system slows down, recalibrates, and tries to figure out what actually survived the last season before deciding what comes next.

I was thinking about this during a Reiki session recently. The practitioner kept lingering around my head and neck and finally said, “There’s a lot of energy stuck up here.” Which tracks. My brain tends to sprint several miles ahead of the rest of me. If you’ve ever talked to me in real life, you’ve probably noticed I sometimes trip over my own words trying to catch up with whatever my mind is already processing.

Embodiment practices talk about this a lot. When stress accumulates, our attention drifts upward into thinking and planning while the body gets left behind. Part of recovery is simply noticing that split and gently bringing awareness back down into the rest of the system. Nothing mystical about it. Just nervous systems doing their weird mammal thing.

So if you feel uneven right now, waking up clear one day and foggy the next, you’re probably not broken. You might just be in the middle of recalibrating.

Curious if anyone else has been feeling this strange thaw lately?

False Starts

In early spring, your nervous system might feel more like it’s pulsing gently rather than moving forward smoothly. From the research I’ve read on stress recovery, I’ve learned that regulation happens in waves: activation, rest, then another round of activation.

Keep in mind, this is completely normal—it’s your body’s way of doing its job. When your energy returns in uneven bursts, it’s not a sign of going backwards but a sign of reactivation, which is a necessary step forward in the recovery journey.

Embodiment vs Momentum

In the book Radical Wholeness, Philip Shepherd writes that wholeness is not something we achieve by pushing forward but by returning to the intelligence of the body.

He argues that modern culture pulls us upward into the head, away from the grounded awareness of the body. So when awakening feels inconsistent, it’s often because the body is thawing slower than the mind.

And this is important to know because the body sets the pace.

Seasonal Grief Is Still Grief

And in the book, The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Weller reminds us that emergence is inseparable from loss. Spring carries what they call “the grief of what could not be.”

Not everything survived your winter, and not every version of you is coming forward.

Uneven awakening sometimes means you’re still metabolizing what had to end so you can be more integrated and whole.

Why this can be annoying

News flash, our current culture worships decisive transformation.

• Before and Afters

• Glamorized Glow-ups

• Fancy TikTok Transitions

But, unfortunately, nature doesn’t work that way. It’s a bit messier.

The forest floor thaws in patches, and some seeds sprout while others wait another year or don’t make it.

The inconsistency you’re feeling with your growth right now is actually more aligned than you probably thought.

The Weighted Body Reset

Try this when you feel yourself starting to float away.

• Sit somewhere solid and instead of focusing on breath, focus on weight.

• Feel the weight of your thighs, your feet, your jaw. Let gravity hold you instead of trying to “lift” your energy.

• Stay there for five minutes.

The goal here is density rather than clarity. Awakening that rises from weight and within your body is sustainable and less likely to burn out.

Patchwork Thaw Ritual

You’ll need:

• A bowl of warm water

• A spoonful of honey

• A pinch of salt

Stir these items slowly in a mug.

• Honey for what’s returning.

• Salt for what didn’t survive.

• Water for what is still becoming.

Dip your fingers in and touch your forehead and chest.

Say: “I wake in my own timing.”

Then drink the rest.

Nervous System Tea

Use this loose-leaf tea blend to calm and stabilize your nervous system:

• Lemon balm
  for calming the stress response

• Nettle
  for mineral-rich support

• A slice of fresh ginger
  for circulation and gentle activation

Steep 10 minutes, then drink.

Further Reading

Radical Wholeness – Philip Shepherd
This book reframes awakening as an embodied process rather than a purely mental one. Shepherd argues that modern culture pulls awareness upward into the head and away from the grounded intelligence of the body. Real integration happens when attention drops back into the physical self and reconnects with gravity, sensation, and instinct.

The Wild Edge of Sorrow – Francis Weller
Weller explores grief as an ecological process rather than an individual failure. He describes how renewal and loss are intertwined — whenever something new emerges, something else is quietly being shed.

Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs – Scott Cunningham
Cunningham’s work is one of the most widely used references in modern folk magic. It documents traditional magical uses of plants and emphasizes practical, everyday spellwork rather than elaborate ceremonial systems. That practical philosophy shaped the simple ritual and tea included in this post.

A small note for transparency: This section contains affiliate links. They never influence what I recommend, but they do help support my work here. Most of these books can also be found at your local library.